Relationship Series: The Wonder List

Topic: Relationship Advice for Younger Girls

In his book, The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis writes, "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." 

The reality is, though true love exists (and is one of the most wonderful experiences on earth), it does not always happen as it did for Princess Jasmine, Kathleen Kelly, or Holly Golightly. As Lewis writes, the essence of love is a state of utter vulnerability. To love is to enter into a hallway, beautiful as it may be, without any real knowledge of where your walk through that hallway will end. Perhaps it will lead to a breathtaking ballroom and perhaps it will lead to a new crossroads. Our hope is that your walk will always lead you to a glorious finish. However, we have found that lasting relational knowledge is found in the walk, not the destination. The process of learning to love someone and receive love in return is messy and sometimes has bumps in the road, but it is what teaches us to free our hearts and learn the true meaning of care, passion, and sacrifice. 

Our Best Advice: 

Enjoy the celebration // The desire to love and be loved is both a natural feeling and something to be celebrated. Meeting someone that you connect with on a deep level, someone that understands your personality quirks and laughs at the same things you do is such a delightful, profound experience. Have fun with it and enjoy every moment of that connection. 

Find your balance // The space  between opening your heart and guarding your heart can be very grey and is unique according to personality, past experiences, and general preference. Use discretion in finding that balance for yourself and seek the advice of older women who have walked through it before if you ever have questions. 

Venture out // Embracing a new person is much like embracing a new place. You have to venture beyond the comfort of your walls in order to discover it. If you take a wrong turn by mistake, learn from it and create a new route for the next time. 

Deal honestly // Even if it is difficult, strive to always achieve honest exchanges with your partner and with yourself. As long as honesty prevails, the danger of disappointment or heartbreak will lessen. 

Learn to love well // Love has a constant learning curve. Unfortunately, we haven't quite yet figured out if the curve ever goes away completely but it does diminish with experience. Choose to see love as an opportunity for you to learn how to serve another person and strive to do it well. The one you love is worth it and so are you. 

We all know it can be a jungle out there, but if you trust in your foundation and allow vulnerability to walk in tandem alongside wisdom, love will change you forever. 

xo,

Emily & Allie
(www.thewonderlist.com)